Posted: 4:58 am Friday, August 29th, 2014

Dating: Delete! 

By Wise Diva

Delete. Delete. Delete. I spent a copious amount of time deleting text messages from an attempted romance. If I could delete the entire memory of the guy from my brain as I did my phone memory, I’d be GOLDEN. Sometimes people turn out to be a colossal waste of time. It happens!

I always like to say that I don’t have regrets but this one I regret. I regret meeting, liking, talking, kissing, this guy. I legit wish I never met him and that rarely happens. He brought a whole bunch of drama to my life in a really short period of time, so he had to go.

I really believe I am most angry with myself. You know how you’ve dated like 100 years and think you would kind of know a BS artist when you see one? Yeah, then one gets past your radar and you are mad because you know better. Alas, this is why I say being resilient when dating is so important!

Do you have that one person who you wish you never met? What did the experience teach you? Who would you delete from your memory if you could??

90 comments
AliSheikh
AliSheikh

Basically women can “date up” but they have to “marry down,” and men will “date down” but will only “marry up”. Men realize this from a young age because to get sex we have to drop our standards. It often takes women a lot longer to realize that in order to get married she will eventually have to “marry down” (settle) or stay single. The longer she waits, the older she gets and the more she will have to compromise.

If your parents were both 6s, your mother could have spent her 20s hooking up with 8s – but your father couldn’t have. Young women days often do that these days. However, when these women reach their late 20s / 30s they will have to drop back down to dating 6s if they want to secure commitment. This process is difficult to accept because after 10 years of hooking-up with 8s she will have to realize that in fact she was only a 6 the whole time (the same applies for 5s hooking up with 7s, 4s with 6s etc). Truly hypergamous women never realize/accept it and so they keep getting dumped, or stay single. 

And this is why women going for someone out of her league has much more impact on the sexual market than a man doing so. She'll get laid and he won't.

Women in their 20s often have a vastly overrated sense of their value and think that male 8's are in their league when the women are only 6's or 7's. Men who date women for 5 years and don't want to marry or cohabit for a long time basically don't like/love the women they're with enough.  It really is the settle for the 5 now until I get a bit older and have gotten more career under my belt and more confident and then go out and find a 6 that he'd actually be happy to marry.

All that the timing wasn't right and so on is mostly BS. They just weren't that into her.

That's the hardest lesson for women to learn, that they can get sex with men that don't love them that much, that aren't into them, that will even stick around for a steady supply of sex and companionship for a couple years, but these men don't love them deeply and sure as hell never intend on marrying them (though complacently sliding into marriage or kids does often happen).

Basically it's quite hard to find a man who's really into a woman and that the woman is really into. I think probably half of women are fairly hypergamous (meaning they only feel strong attraction and romantic love if they guy is of somewhat higher value or better) and these women are going to struggle because their minimum threshold is too high. 


 

Leggs123
Leggs123

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.

PEACE!

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Ya'll have a good long weekend.  I'm about to sneak out of here for the day.  It's been a looooooong week!

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

I think I'll be dead to the world on Sunday...class in the morning, watch the UGA game in the afternoon, then going out tomorrow night.  Hoping my parents will cook out on Monday. 

Leggs123
Leggs123

Bluz ~ still looking for trouble.  Have a little something in the works for Sunday, but that's about it right now.

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Leggs - you got anything going on this weekend? 

Reio
Reio

Leggs - You should be. Been a tough week for you. Po thang.

Reio
Reio

And you'll never know, unless they confess. But your attitude is good. "Let'em all burn".

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

The info she mentioned had to have been told to her by a "friend."  I just don't know why any of my friends would think it is ok to talk about me to her.  They all knew me way before knowing her, so they should know better than to share my business with her and with The Ex.  Whatever, though.  I can't dwell on it because I don't know who it was that talked to her.  

Reio
Reio

She may be just good at digging for information on the web. We're all connected ya know.

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Eh...I'm not worried about it.  I would like to know which of my friends fed her information about me.  That's the only thing that bothers me about it.  I don't want my friends talking about me to him or her.  I don't even know how to approach that. 

Reio
Reio

Bluz -Wwho knows. Watch your back though.

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

It was very weird.  There was no good reason for her to write to me.  I just kept shaking my head and saying "wtf?"  After 2+ years, why would she think I want to hear from her?

Reio
Reio

Bluz - Oh, ok. Kinda weird though. Odd.

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Facebook message...I blocked her right after I received it so she cannot contact me again.

Reio
Reio

Bluz - Was it a letter in the mail or email? Just wondering.

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Reio - I didn't understand it as well...she can kick rocks for all I care!  


DB - I'm pretty sure I won't catch feelings for him.  I kind of started to develop feelings quite a while back, but I don't have them now.  Living together changes things.  

Reio
Reio

Bluz -  I see where you posted " His fiance wrote to me last weekend..." Really? I don't understand today's dating stuff. Never will.


Dirty Slim say's "Yoon know chit bout her"

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

@Bluzgirl .....You are one fascinating sista....I hope you don't catch feeling....because men can handle FWB a whole lot better than women.....


@Sassy Me -)   Have a great weekend georgous!   :)

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

This day is just dragging on!  I'm so ready to go home, even though I have to study

Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

Side stepping...

Have a really, really great weekend everyone!!!!!

Eat, drink, live, laugh and love!!!!!!!!!!

PEACE  :-)

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@DirtyBird-Rise-up see you slipping again, just like my last five vehicles, I don't need a test drive. I know what I want! sight unseen (LOL) 

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

That's really none of your business...I'm not going to answer that question.

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

@Single & Happy ....My worthy competitor SlimNu wants to test drive this engine first before she makes the full commitment. Actually I need to make sure all her body parts are operable....hehehehehe!


Leggs please take notes of my comments today. We go over the notes later with a Saturday night briefing....lol

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@DirtyBird-Rise-up see you to slow, me an slim not going to live together, we're going to be one!! and her hand will be well taking care of. :-D I've got what she needs to keep that hand rehabed (LOL) 

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

We were FWB before he moved in (he was the neighbor).  Now, it's just easier to get it in when I want it!  

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

So BluzGirl....How does that work? I have not heard of the roommate being the friends with benefits...I mean who you are he wants to get busy what make it go down?   I need to know because SlimNu and I are going to be roommates this summer?  lol

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

@Leggs123 ....Yes due to SlimNu inactivity with the male species her hand has encountered some problems. I am volunteering my mind and body to SlimNu in order to rehabbed that hand back to 100 percent.


During this time I shall come by your place to give you what you need in order to alleviate those chest pains. Don't worry about paying is it Dr. Dirty pleasure to heal the sick and wound... hehehehehe!

Leggs123
Leggs123

Wait, what did I miss?  SlimNu, something wrong with your hand or are they talking about using the hand for something else???


Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

@DirtyBird-Rise-up - I'm actually totally fine with the FWB situation.  Being in school has shown me that I don't have the time or energy to worry about a relationship.  I'm so happy with being single and being able to handle an FWB relationship at this point in my life.  

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

Damm @Bluzgirl  can I be the next roommate? hehehehehe!

Serious though are you o.k. with getting it on without commitment? Or do you want the FWB to turn into a relationship?


@Single & Happy .....U are too busy to take care of SlimNu needs, we are going to live together this will ensure that she will have complete rehabilitation of that hand...lol

Leggs123
Leggs123

Single ~ I understood your statement, just thought to flip the script because I know that's the only way you're going to get to her!

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

SlimNu...quiting acting like you cannot be bought....Jack Daniels on the table...for starters...hehehehehe!

DirtyBird-Rise-up
DirtyBird-Rise-up

@Leggs123 ....Leggs I am glad to hear you are doing o.k.  I may need to put you on my winter list.hheheheheh



@Single & Happy ....Oh yes you are bidding for .SlimNu.... I am going to make the first bid....Oh  i need the email first before I put in my invisible silent bid....hehehehehhe!


@Bluzgirl ....Are you doing CP? What type of roommate ish is going on? Is the roommate with benefits?  hehehehe!

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@Leggs123 , I see you didn't understand my statement either, IMMA KEEP SLIM WARM!! I aint bidding!! (LOL) 

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

@SlimNu - Maybe.  Honestly, though, I will be a happy girl if I never ever see him for the rest of my life.  It's not like I'm going out of my way to avoid them...I just don't go to one bar and see one band.  As much as I love the band he's in, I won't go see them because of him.  All I have to do is wait because every few years, he has a falling out with the leader of the band.  It's bound to happen soon.  


Off to lunch...be back in about 30-45

SlimNu
SlimNu

@Bluzgirl  Maybe she wanted you to know you don't have to try to avoid them...