Posted: 7:02 am Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Relationships: Are you too comfortable? 

By Wise Diva

You know how a couple starts to feel comfortable around one another and drop the pretense? This can be a great thing, but some people take it too far. Once the mystery is all but gone and you let it all hang out, things can become a little stale and boring.

This is what one do our readers is going through now. Six months into the relationship and his woman is wearing head scarves and tshirts to bed. The effort to be sexy and spontaneous for him is missing. What should you do if your partner starts to let themselves go?

Have you ever experienced this? Did the comfort level of a relations I take the spark out of the chemistry you once had? How do you get it back?

28 comments
Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

Have an awesome weekend errbody! :-) 

Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

You signed up to do a show called "dating naked" and now you're suing for emotional distress because your hoo-ha got flashed without the blur?

I'm sure there's some fine print in that waiver form she signed, that she probably should've read in a little  more detail.  That does seem asinine to VOLUNTEER  for a naked dating show and want to sue because the WORLD might've seen your junk...

Get over it, already.  

SlimNu
SlimNu

I do like watching the show though...funny...

anyway, i'm out...enjoy

SlimNu
SlimNu

LOL, I didn't read since i'm at work but that sounds crazy as hell ...people

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Hey Swiss!

That's what I was thinking - if he really found her attractive & they were getting it in, what should it matter?

Now I don't believe in completely letting yourself go. & taking your mate for granted. U cared about how u kept yourself up to get him/her, so u should maintain that standard. But naw, I'm NOT gonna still find you sexy if you roll up looking 12 months preggers & smelling like a sewer! That's not gonna work.

i'm swiss
i'm swiss

What's the problem with the head scarves?  Never understood that.  Personally, I think Mrs. Swiss is just as sexy in a bandana & t-shirt as she is in lacy lingerie.  Either way, it's all getting ripped off.  IJS...

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Sup Gang!

Yeah I'd like to see how dude is looking & smelling when he comes to bed!

Most just can't do the full on Vicky's Secret err nite, complete with hairdo. Just not practical, and then if it's an everyday thing it's not that special. But one can come to be comfy & clean on regular nites - what's wrong with a big t-shirt, maybe panties or not, and a silk scarf to protect the hair? And freshly showered and smelling good with some lotioned arms & legs so they will be silky smooth? Then every now & then break out the fancy lingere. There is a way for a lady to work this so everyone is happy. Unless dude is just hard to please. I think if he was really into her & found her attractive, none of this would matter. She could come to bed in a pillow sack if he really found her sexy. What's really going on?

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@SlimNu I let them all know, I sleep in the nude, if that's a problem, oh well (LOL) 

SlimNu
SlimNu

I thought guys thought a t-shirt and panties were sexy enough....maybe men should try going to bed with some lacey undies on for a whole week and let us know how their nights go. lol

Celisea
Celisea

So, he's wearing silk pajamas every night, a smoking jacking and leather bedroo slippers from Brooks Brothers??? Boy,  insensitive men I tell ya, I bet this is a big bellied dude (or will be), eating everything in sight, but watching his woman's weight?  I can bet you, this dude ain't got a full deck or is young.  If you've had any experience with women,  intimate level or not, you would know she's ain't rocking "beautiful" 24/7.  That it takes a bit of care AT NIGHTTIME, that ain't no woman gon spend a grip at the salon and just "gota bed"  without some kind of hair management.  Maybe he ain't spent the night with a woman.....shrugs  Talmbout tshirts and scarves...dang skippy.  Black women (nor white for that matter) ain't just rolling outta bed.  Shoot he ain't either.

I hatea dumb dude.

Reio
Reio

Morning all.


Well, I guess this is something I'm not familiar with. Wear what you want to bed. Hell. Some things aren't worth commenting on. But, that's just me.

SlimNu
SlimNu

Morning,

Um, for sistahs like Sassy said, it's just what it's going to have to be. Unless you have that wavy, wet & go hair, Slim will have her hair wrapped at night. I recall if I ever felt too lazy to wrap my hair, my ex would be like, why aren't you tying that hair down. Get up and go wrap your hair lolol

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@Sassy Me -) usually after the first 1 or 2 times, my girlfriends have ditched the sexy lingerie for more comfortable sleep wear. Never been a problem for me, cause it's all coming off anyway (LOL) I'm like if you don't sleep in it every night, don't do it for me, I want you to be comfortable. 

Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

Six months into the relationship and his woman is wearing head scarves and t-shirts to bed. 

I'm inclined to think that this is a sister...and if that is true, she's been wearing a head scarf to bed waay before he came in the picture. We're(most of us) are taught very young to tie our hear down before we go to bed for various reasons.  Personally, I can't sleep right if I don't wrap my hair at night.

And t-shirts...what's wrong with being comfortable?  Lingerie is cool but doing that EVERY night can be exhaustive and honestly, sometimes we prefer a comfy t-shirt n socks...

But to each his/her own...

Plus, what is he wearing to bed...how sexy is he?   What's he giving her to work with?

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

Hello all


Hmm so 6 months and and she's not trying to look sexy when going to bed, who'd a thunk it. Wearing a head scarf and t'shirt is not letting yourself go!! it's being comfortable!! Every woman I've dated still looked sexy to me in a head scarf and t-shirt :-D 


Diva, we need more detail, age range, are these people  living together already?  

RealKat
RealKat

I don't know what a head scarf is. I mean, I know what a scarf for the head is, but what is its purpose at night? He should buy her some sexy things to wear to bed, or suggest they go shopping. Or, look at himself to see how "comfortable" he has become.


"...what one do our readers..." "...comfort level of a relations I take the spark..." ???

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@SlimNu I know you were looking for my other answer, I just manscaped yesterday (LOL) 

Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

@SlimNu Mr. Bermuda will remind me about that in a New York minute, too.  I've always thought it was kinda cute. 

SlimNu
SlimNu

@Single & Happy I haven't done much ladyscaping since the hand issue....bare minimum at best. lol

SlimNu
SlimNu

@Single & Happy I think i'll survive...not looking like a condemned property just yet....thanks though