Posted: 7:45 am Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

How do you dump someone? 

By Wise Diva

Have you ever dated someone and start to lose interest? Since there is not a relationship that has to end, you wonder what to really say? It can be tricky, especially when you would be interested in a friendship. Is there a way to let someone down easy and still remain friends with them?

My friend Chris said he realized that he isn’t interested in someone he met and is dating casually. He wants to pursue someone else but thinks he could be cool friends with the her. I think it is unfair to expect friendship from her – at least right away! Would you be friends with someone who dumped you?

The best way to dump someone is FAST. Don’t delay it. I don’t know why Chris is waiting to pull the plug but people don’t like when someone wastes their time. What do you say to end it?

35 comments
Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

I just hope I can stay awake during class tonight!  LOL 

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

After the summer semester ended, my professor nominated me for a national leadership honors society!

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

I'm sure hoping the Spanish I learned in high school comes back to me!  LOL!

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

I start back tonight.  I'm excited and nervous.  The break in between semesters went by way too fast!!!  Spanish tonight and Sociology on Saturday morning.

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

I only remained friends with one ex and that was because we made better friends than lovers.  It took a while to get to the point where I could be friends with him, but I'm glad I made it there.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Purple - I never was the "friends with ex" type. I don't have kids with any of them. There is one I kind of stayed friends with & that was because I really liked him as a friend & professionally respected him first. After we got over the hurt of the relationship ending we touched base via email from time to time - kept up with family, marriages, kids, work. Haven't talked to him since I sent him my wedding announcement & pics.

Purple Reign
Purple Reign

Why would someone want to be friends with an ex?  Serious question.  If there was enough for a friendship, work out the relationship...unless there are kids involved.

RealKat
RealKat

Is this the same Chris who got more mature after he got married? Or is he a different one? Because he might need to apologize for dumping his wife.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

I think it's unrealistic for Chris to expect friendship right away. Unless she is feeling the same way & when Chris brings up that he just sees them as friends and she says "whew, I was thinking the same thing!".

Purple Reign
Purple Reign

@Kimmieakasmooth  The worse breakup or meanest I have ever done was I guess when the woman I was seeing deciding to "go off" on me.  It came out of nowhere, obviously she had some other stress in here life.  But the way she attacked and spoke to me at that instant let me know that there was no future with someone that was capable of speaking to me that way and acting that way.  Once she finished her rant I kindly told her "Nobody speaks to me that way and I wish you the best, Goodbye"  she thought I meant goodbye for the day.  I just led he be and I moved on.

Celisea
Celisea

17 comments, 15 people listening!!  Closing the gap!!  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can = The Little Engine That Could :)

Have a GRRREAT rest of the day!!

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Chris is being a coward by not ending it when he's not feeling it.  He's just stringing her along.  He needs to go ahead and man up and get it over with

Leggs123
Leggs123

SassyMe ~ things are good.  Classes started yesterday for her.  So far so good (lol).

kimmie ~ I'm with you, if we're sexing each other, we are not in a casual relationship and that will be established up front!  Recently, I've been asked out by this guy who refuses to honor the date or the time of our agreed to outing.  I guess that's my fade away.  First time he apologized and gave an explanation.  This time, I'm not trying to hear a darn thing and won't answer his call when he decides to call because he will call.  Some old cats from back in the day need to be left back in the day!!!

Celisea
Celisea

Thankfully, I haven't encountered bum dudes.  Gentlemen and upstanding and really it's been me that called it quits. So, today's topic ain't a problem of mine....woo hoo.  I'm still giving kudos to Diva's friend Chris. At least he's got a conscious.....at least that's how I'm gonna view him and his reason for holding back.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

I bent over backwards most of the time in my past relationships to do right by the guys & treat them like I wanted to be treated. While I didn't quite like it, especially if we had something special, the fade was not the worst thing in the world. In fact, in some cases I was really fine with it - saved us both the awkwardness & hurt feelings. I catch on quick, so no drawn out fade either! My first 2 serious boyfriends dumped me & were brutally honest. I think they got a thrill out of sticking the knife in & turning it. The fadeaway was welcomed after that........:(

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Afternoon all!!


The best way to end it is to be honest.  I'll admit that I have done the fade away and that really isn't fair to the other person.  I think he knew why I faded away, though.  


This weather is getting to me today.  I just want to sleep!!!

Purple Reign
Purple Reign

If it's over it's over, the ending wasn't a surprise.  What is there to talk about? No point in holding on to memories together.  Work them out on your own or just become bitter. 

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Leggs - it is disrespectful when you've had more than something casual, and I don't call sleeping with casual tho I know a lot do. I did the fade when we only talked or went out a few times. May not be the best way, sure it's even cowardly, but I did it back in the day. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but it was done plenty to me too & some after a not-so-casual relationship.

Celisea
Celisea

"I don’t know why Chris is waiting to pull the plug but people don’t like when someone wastes their time"

Probably because his conscious won't let him be a scumbag.....meaning likely they've smashed. Diva, everyday, I'm SMH at you...tsk tsk tsk.  You wouldn't want a dude to just "dump" you, post smashing....would you?  I mean, I could be wrong but I don't see any other reason you can't easily break free. I would give Chris points for this. But, if he's not interested, be the gentleman he seems to be and tell her.  Close the doo and move on.

Nothing but bum dudes run and hide or just disappear.  That's why ladies need to keep their drawers. Well, hopefully they have daughters.  What goes around comes around! 

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

Hello all


Yes I would be friends with someone that I casually dated. You can't dump me if we were never in a relationship. 

Leggs123
Leggs123

I don't like the "fade away."  It shows no respect for the person you used to kick it with, probably slept with, and had feelings for.  No doubt, the fade away speaks volumes, but it can also send one over the edge to be so blatantly disrespected.  A whole nother can of whupp a$$ can open up.

Leggs123
Leggs123

Hey kimmie/sassyme/purple!

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Hey gang!

Most of the time to be honest, I did the fade away. If we had been seeing each other long term, most likely I talked until I was blue in the face about my issues. When I was at the point of cutting ties for good, there was no surprise. No long drawn-out convo. I tell them it's just not working out. When I'm done, I'm done too, no doubling back. That surprised a few, that I didn't want to remain "friends". If I see u on the street, I'll say hi. Otherwise, I'm done!

Leggs123
Leggs123

Simply let them know the relationship isn't going anywhere and although you think highly of the person, it's not a good fit.  Now, if you string her or him along, please trust there will be no friendship.

Wow, I can blog and only 2 comments.  

Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

What do you say to end it?

Instead of the, "It's me, not you" schpeal I honestly and sincerely let them know before hand.  It's a process that involves talking with the person(that is if I want to work it out) but if not, then I list my reasons and that's it.  Now if the person in question is an @ss...well that's when they get the fade away....

I just fade away as in not calling or answering calls as often...until the other person just loses interest and kicks rocks.

I think the manner of the break up should be in line with the nature of the relationship.

Purple Reign
Purple Reign

I just start ignoring them, seriously that works for me.

Purple Reign
Purple Reign

@Leggs123 They can deal with it on their own, I have no desire to maintain a friendship or etc, so I don't care.


Sassy Me -)
Sassy Me -)

@Kimmieakasmooth Exactly Kimmie...if we're in a serious relationship then by the time I'm ready to leave, we've talked about this more than one time...so when I leave..that's it.  I'm out this b1tch.  I don't want to be friends either and will be cordial if we see on another in the street but other than that..keep it moving.