Posted: 6:35 am Friday, July 11th, 2014

Prescreening your dates? 

By Wise Diva

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I always wonder if the dating misadventures of men mirror our own. The guys seem to manage the dating scene with a lot more ease then women. At least that is how it seems at times. When I asked a friend Zack why he seems to navigate dating so well, he told me he learned the art of prescreening dates!

Zack admits that there was a time when he went out on a first date with whomever he felt a strong attraction. That led to boring dates with vapid women with no personality. He began to put more effort in finding out whether or not the women he met were first date worthy. Maybe there is something to this – should we all try to weed out the duds early so we don’t waste our time?

What things do you try to find out before the first date even happens? Do you prescreen your dates to see if they would even be pleasant enough to spend 2 hours with hanging out?

Maybe bad dates would go down if we did more intel gathering before we ask them on a first date. What do you think?

Photo credit: American-apartment-owners.com

27 comments
Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Reio - when time is pressing on & u r not married a lot of folks looked at me like I should just be grateful that someone was interested in me, take what I can get. Oh H no! Never been hard up. Plus people can detect desperation a mile away & will take advantage of it.

Reio
Reio

KImmie - Yeah, it's difficult. Especially from a woman's perspective. Cause you never when the next one will invite you out. But it's important to be "choosy". Nothing wrong with that. And even if you are, there are no guarantees. And it's not like I was constantly hammering this into my daughters heads. I know I mentioned this to each of them on one or two occasions, that they should only date guys that they feel deserve to go out with them. Whether they took my advice? I don't know.

*Button*
*Button*

I watched the show date from hell. Freaking crazy how ppl will darn near kill you while they date you.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Reio - I was the same way, couldn't just go out with any ole dude just cause he asked. I had to deem him worthy to go out with, period. Other folks, especially when I got older, would trip & say I was being too choosy. Fine, u feel sorry for him cause I turned him down then u go out with him. Then when I would go out with one that turned out to be a dud, they would say I should have known & I could do better. Whatever!!

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Button - Lol! No I don't roll my eyes when I type it, but I envision "talk to the hand"!

*Button*
*Button*

Kimmie- @blind dates yes they ask the usual quesitons. looks, height, weight, job status and what kind of car

Reio
Reio

Morning all.


Well, as I've said here several times in the past, quite a few of my dates were with women that I already knew, or someone that we both knew introduced us, and things took off from there. I needed to know a bit about a woman before asking her out. I pretty face, nice body, smile, eyes...are fine but never enough to get me to ask her out. I never went up to a total stranger to introduce myself in the hopes she will go out with me, just because she was attractive. Being attractive was never enough.

And to be honest, I DID make a judgment as to her worthiness.


Look, I'm a decent fellow. I knew this. Hard working, honest, loyal, faithful....all these things and many more. So, if I say so myself, I felt that I had a lot to offer. I believed in order for me to ask a woman out, she would have to, in my opinion, DESERVE to go out with me.


Go ahead and put me down for being this way, but I was, and, still am. I'll never change.

I told my daughters to make sure that the guy that they go out with, deserves to be with them. Even if it's a first date. Hell.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Morning Gang!

Button - Single probably picked up the "miss me with that" from me!lol! I say it a lot, but rarely in anger. Usually just to describe something I'm not gonna deal with.

On topic - I would think most folks prescreen for the basics & have an initial few convos before agreeing to meet up & go out. That's just standard, unless it's a blind date, and even that has gone thru some prescreening by the persons setting it up.

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

Button, I picked up miss me with that on this blog, so it must a lot of huffy people here (LOL) 

*Button*
*Button*

Single - words like miss me with that is an indication of getting huffy. BTW yes I agree there are some workaholics out here but you don't think the person coming in didn't know it? more than likely they did and they were the ones who changed. I've wouldn't date a workaholic nor marry one. My G works a lot but he knows how important our relationship. He knows when to turn off the work light and put energy in what we have. Happy he knows how to balance things.

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

button why do you always think i'm getting huff, it aint that serious :-) smile and the whole world smiles with you. And I agree, that is how they fund their lifestyle, Jobs have broken up marriages also, because in the beginning him spending alot of time working on his career was good thing, but later on him spending more time working on his career than working on his relationship becomes a problem. 

*Button*
*Button*

why all the miss me with that? you ask the questions you want to ask and I asked the questions I want to ask. No need to get all huff about it dude. I ask the questions that are important to me since I date not just for fun but to have a partner in life and yes his career is a huge part of one's make up. It's how they fund their lifestyle. Heck it's where one spend the bulk of their day. Oh and I also ask what kind of car he drives -- j/k

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

Button I find out more about a person by asking what they're hobbies are, what things they like to do for fun entertainment. Beyond what they do, and how long they've been doing it, is enough information for me. I've found those that want to tell you what they do are also the ones that want to talk about their job all the time. Miss me with that. 

*Button*
*Button*

Single - I find out by asking. Some people are ok with talking about their career ie...what they do for a living.

My G was skeptical about telling me what he does for a living when we first met. He acted as if he worked for the cia. We joke about to this day. I can understand why some ppl are vague about their career bc for the most ppl will see dollar signs instead of getting to know the person outside of thier career.

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

button how you find out about someones career? I ask this because for me beyond a brief description of what I do, is all you'll get out of me. And that's usually all I ask, It's part of how I keep home and work separated. 

*Button*
*Button*

 Do you prescreen your dates to see if they would even be pleasant enough to spend 2 hours with hanging out? If he's pleasant on the inital phone conversations then he should be pleasant in person. If he's talking about schex and rude then no date.

What things do you try to find out before the first date even happens? I would find out what he's about, career, marital status, family, - things that matter in his daily life. If he had a great personality and a good sense of humor then it's all good. If we had a lot in common then was a huge plus.

*Button*
*Button*

IMO some ppl take dating too serious not that it should be taken lightly but it should be a time when you learn a person - who they are and what they are about. You can ask all the questions, do all the drilling putting in all the effor  but at the end of the day it's how you TWO interact with each other.

I've never been a serial dater, I date who I liked to get to know and who has the qualities I need. You will learn a person in the first few minutes of meeting/talking to them.  if they are fake and good at it then shame on them and move on.

Good morning!

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

Hello everyone


For me the first second, forth sixth, date is not the beginning of a relationship but the get to know you period. Would be nice to know what their phone conversations were like before that date. 

Cateyeslee
Cateyeslee

Happy Friday


I ask the basic questions like: where do you work, have any kids, etc... that doesn't mean you will receive the truth. 


Several years back i went on a first date and I asked all my questions  he had some to of course, well when we went on the date he was telling me about his daughters mother, during the conversation he told me that if his daughters mother apologized he would take her back, we never went on a second date -- i felt that could be drama and it was clear that he still had feeling for her... we remained friends and sure enough 6 months later they were back together. Think he just wanted to have someone fill in the time space until they got back together.... I am not good as a fill in ...

*Button*
*Button*

do you roll your eyes when you type it? if so then tsk tsk lol

*Button*
*Button*

what if she doens't have a hobby, then what? What if she's a couch potatoe, then what?

*Button*
*Button*

sounds to me you're just looking for someone to play with and nothing serious which is all good if that's what you desire but for me I looked for something deeper with more connection and a future.

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@*Button* I'm looking for someone that has a life, and knows how to balance it. If they can't balance their single life, I know they can't balance a life with someone else.