Posted: 6:31 am Monday, July 7th, 2014

Should you compete or move on? 

By Wise Diva

A reader wants advice about dating someone who admits to seeing other people. He thought they were truly getting along well and the interest level was mutual. When she told him that she was seeing other people, it sort of pissed him off. Perhaps it was his ego, but he figured he was keeping her attention and her focus on him.

So many times we think that people meet us and should see how awesome we are and be happy we chose them to date. Yeah, that is ego! Should you compete with other people or move on? Do you think it depends on how much you like them?

A lot of people don’t mind when you date around while others think it is disrespectful. It definitely makes a difference when you are upfront and honest about it. Leading someone to believe they are the only one when they are one of many is unfair. What would you do if someone you really liked had not dropped the other romantic interests while you have?

37 comments
Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

I guess dude in the topic is saying "These Girls Ain't Loyal"! Lol, just heard the song on the radio.

SlimNu
SlimNu

So.....what nice weather we're having here.

@Purple Reign  What was your drink of choice this past weekend?

Bluzgirl
Bluzgirl

Hey all!  Trying to get back into the swing of things after being off for a week.  I need a vacation from my vacation!  The only reason I can log on now is because I'm covering the receptionist desk until 1:30.  Can't do much else when I'm at my desk.  Work is stressing me out today!!!



Purple Reign
Purple Reign

@SlimNu  yes went to the lake and got plastered, spent the night on the water and came home Sunday.  Had a great meal and fired the rest of the fireworks.  I still have all of my fingers.

SlimNu
SlimNu

@Purple Reign  What did you end up doing? Did you make it out on the boat?  I with the family, had the kids and we all went to Stone Mountain...Saturday, took them all to see Transformers, The LONGEST dayum movie!  Needless to say everyone was restless in the theater. Next time, I'll wait for the DVD so I can pause it, and get up as I feel like it.

SlimNu
SlimNu

2C - Now I will admit we had a few good days on here....so that was refreshing...but back to status quo I suppose.

2CPTG©
2CPTG©

I'm good, sugar.......yeah, I see, ain't much changed, 'cept the location, and lack of participants......

SlimNu
SlimNu

@2CPTG©  Howdy howdy howdy...I'm in and out since nothing much is going on here. How you durrrin?

2CPTG©
2CPTG©

and how has my boo, Slim, been?? matta fact, where she at?

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

2C - life is good for me too. My commute is getting me down, so that's really pushing me to get off my butt & look for a transfer downtown. Hubs is on this crazy big case at work & been doing 10 hour days including the last two weekends! But hey, at least we r working.:)

2CPTG©
2CPTG©

Hey Kimmie....life is grand; not chained to a desk anymore, so I'm all over the place....


how ya been?

Purple Reign
Purple Reign

All is fair until you have the exclusive conversation, besides who would want someone that had nothing else going on?

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Button - and I don't blame her! Dude don't speak up, I'm "busy" even if I'm not! Don't make assumptions. I found when a guy was really interested he wasted no time putting on lock.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Button - Bingo! He hasn't said jack, probably thought she was sitting by the phone waiting on him.......

*Button*
*Button*

Kimmie it could be his huge ego have him thinking how could she want anybody other than me. Most men cant phathom women dating or wanting anybody other than them. I'm willing to bet he haven't even talked about being exclusive.

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Hey 2C! I asked about u last week! I missed u! How has life been treating u?:)

Kimmieakasmooth
Kimmieakasmooth

Morning Gang! Hope u all had a fun holiday. Mine was tiring but nice.

Funny that in this case it's a dude that's mad because a chick was seeing others! Bet he wasn't banking on that, probably never happened to him!lol! He's probably used to women not having a life & immediately making him the center of the universe.

I learned early on & the hard way to never assume anything in dating. I don't care if the person is spending 20 hours out of every day with u, u still don't know what they r doing the other 4. Until u talk & agree to be exclusive, technically u r not, even tho one or both of u is not seeing others.

*Button*
*Button*

I can see how dating someone and wanting him/her all for yourself but at the end of the day until you both have agreed to be exclusive then all bets are off.

*Button*
*Button*

What would you do if someone you really liked had not dropped the other romantic interests while you have? I believe in dating until you're engaged or at least made a commitment to exclusivley date. If the words exclusive in not mentioned then it's best to date around until it's mentioned. Why put all your eggs in one baasket anyway. The world is full of amazing people and one is just for you. Date around until you meet that one just for you.

Good morning!

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@SlimNu these are things that I know work. negative thoughts bring negative feelings, positive thought bring great things!! 

SlimNu
SlimNu

Yeah yeah yeah lol

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

@SlimNu Let me start my empowerment seminar :-D NEVER regret going back to work, just think of all the things you couldn't do if you didn't have a job. I'm always looking forward to the next vacation, and can't do that broke. 


I had a great weekend, work is always fun :-) 

SlimNu
SlimNu

How were you all's weekend?

SlimNu
SlimNu

@Single & Happy  Because i'm still in vacation mode and this will be my first full week in a while. I'm already trying to plan for another mini vacation soon. (before summer is over)

SlimNu
SlimNu

Good morning,

Back at work, BAH HUmBUG! One cannot automatically assume that someone they've just met isn't dating other people. Until you two have sat down and discussed exclusivity, anything goes. I know in the past most dudes will ask if i'm currently dating. They do not harp on it but as time goes on, they usually bring it up especially if we're spending a whole lot more time together.

Cateyeslee
Cateyeslee

Good Morning,

I have had a guy tell me he was seeing others, it did not bother me since so was i, at the time i did not want a relationship, now we remained friends but no longer date. I believe it is only disrespectful when he/she has you believing you are the only one --"im just seeing you" -- things like that are head games --and you can go kick rocks!!


Now it is a different story for me i am ready to have a healthy relationship and find love, so if i did meet another guy that stated he was dating a list of women, that would be our last date or talk that is not what i am looking for, and you can not start a relationship when you are not giving that person your all to give it a true real start. 

Single & Happy
Single & Happy

Hey Everyone


In the dating world, you're always competing! Until things become exclusive. Even in marriage the same thing it took to get them is the same thing it's going to take to keep them. 


What would you do if someone you really liked had not dropped the other romantic interests while you have? If we hadn't discussed being exclusive then it was my choice, and if I really like them I would continue to see them. 


A lot of people don’t mind when you date around while others think it is disrespectful.  Different strokes for different folks!